Welcome to
B.O.R.E.D —
The Shakreisha Resistance

B.O.R.E.D

Bureau of Observational Research, Evaluation & Documentation
 

Independent Intelligence -

Public Interest Research
Since 2019

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Mission
The Bureau (B.O.R.E.D.) monitors threats to logic, reality, and common sense. We investigate misinformation regarding geography, pseudo-science, astronomy, and radicalization.

Key Target:

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SHAKREISHA

Bureau has elevated the threat assessment from Persistent Nuisance to Organized Nuisance.

Background

Shakreisha first appeared on Bureau monitoring systems several years ago following a series of increasingly unusual public claims.

While the Bureau recognizes the importance of open inquiry and free expression, analysts became concerned when subjects began exhibiting signs of accelerated confidence in topics they had researched for less than twenty minutes.

Subsequent investigation resulted in the creation of the Bureau's now-famous:

Reality Preservation Initiative

An ongoing effort dedicated to determining whether facts can survive the modern internet.

Research remains inconclusive.

Key Findings

Investigators continue documenting reports of individuals who entered routine conversations and emerged several hours later questioning the shape of the planet.

In one confirmed incident, a previously healthy adult male began a discussion regarding weather patterns and ultimately purchased:

• Two laser pointers

• A topographical map

• Three notebooks

• A compass

• A drone

The subject later admitted:

"I honestly don't remember how we got here."

Researchers classified the incident as a Level-2 Shakreishian Exposure Event.

PERSON OF INTEREST FILE

SHAKREISHA

Status

At Large

Threat Assessment

Moderate

Annoyance Assessment

Significant

Last Known Activity

Unknown

Confirmed Sightings

Unconfirmed

Rumored Sightings

Excessive

Known Aliases

Unknown

Known Methodology

• "Just asking questions."

• Requesting evidence.

• Ignoring evidence.

• Requesting different evidence.

 

Estimated Influence Radius

Three comment sections.

INVESTIGATIVE REPORT

Office of Strategic Monitoring

Case File: S-991

Incident Narrative

At approximately 19:42 hours, Bureau analysts detected unusual digital traffic surrounding a discussion regarding lunar exploration.

The discussion initially appeared harmless.

Within ninety minutes, participants were debating:

• Rocket propulsion

• Gravity

• The horizon

• Ancient civilizations

• Whether maps work

Investigators determined the conversation had experienced what experts refer to as a:

Full Shakreishian Cascade Failure

A condition in which no participant remembers the original topic.

BUREAU POSITION ON THE MOON

The Bureau recognizes that a variety of viewpoints exist regarding lunar exploration.

Following an extensive review of available evidence, witness testimony, engineering records, scientific consensus, and several documentaries watched by personnel during a holiday weekend, B.O.R.E.D. formally concludes:

Americans went to the Moon.

Probably.

Evidence strongly suggests this occurred.

The Bureau remains substantially more confident in this conclusion than in any explanation involving sound stages, secret projectors, or giant celestial light bulbs.

INTERNAL MEMO

FOR IMMEDIATE DISTRIBUTION

Recent reports indicate members of the public continue engaging suspected Shakreishians without proper preparation.

Before entering discussions involving planetary geometry, Bureau personnel are reminded to bring:

• Documentation

• Patience

• Snacks

• Additionpial snacks

Field experience indicates evidence alone is rarely sufficient.